It's pretty much required to have a natural hair story. For those who want to know why I stopped straightening my hair, this will be my short hair story:
I had a perm since I was six years old. Before I was six, I had really long kinky hair. I believe that it was the same texture that it is now. I know that I was one of those hyperactive kids and it was hard to get me to sit down for anything. My mom used to put my hair in those black girl ponytails. One day, my mom's friend suggested that I get a perm because my hair was so thick. My mom's friend put the perm on my hair. She did not use any gloves at all, so I'm guessing the skin on her hands practically melted off. I hated getting a perm when I was a kid, but I loved the results. I remember even when I was a little kid my hair was waist length. As I got older, and when I entered middle school I wanted to do my own hair. That didn't work well. My hair went from being really long, to should length. In high school, I had long hair, but it was uneven, so my aunt thought that it would be nice to cut my hair when she did it without asking, saying that "I don't deserve to have long hair". Eversince then, I did not let her touch my hair. What I should have done was grow out of a perm then, at 15. When I was 16, I kept my hair in braids for a while. I had nice hair when I went to my prom and my mom's hairstylist did it for me.
Even when I was 18, I wanted to grow out of a perm, but I wasn't sure about it. Then, I was under the impression that society, especially the black culture wanted me to have straight hair, but they did not want me to have long healthy hair (in high school I was bullied alot by the black girls, which is one of the reason why most of my friends are of other races). I was talked many times out of growing my hair out. I was told that I didn't have "the kind of hair that I can go natural". Like anyother woman/girl in my situation, I was told that my hair was too nappy, it was too thick and my hair was not the texture it was when I was five years old.
Becoming vegan played a major role in why I want to go natural. It really does not make sense that I go vegan, and still wear a perm. Chemical relaxers contain so many kinds of chemicals and so many animal biproducts. I would not be surprised if the companies tested on animals. Thinking that society's definition of beauty is more important than what I thought was best for my health, I kept perming my hair. I also love the look of long hair. I find the look of long straight, hair to be more versatile in appearance than an afro. It can be elegant, sexy, classy, powerful, futuristic, ethereal, earthy or etc. I did not feel that way about afro textured hair. I thought the fluffed Afro is dated. I thought that I would have to keep finding a way to straighten my hair.
One day, I wanted to go to the hair salon just to have my hair styled in ways that I couldn't do myself. A long story short, to this day, I do not go to beauty salons anymore. The woman who did my hair was so unprofessional. If a customer does not want her hair cut or trimmed, then don't do it. If you're so professional, you should know how to do hair without having to cut it.
When I went off to school, I wore braids until it was time to take them out. Then, I had four inches of natural hair that I did not know how to do. I told my mom that I want to go to the hair salon, but I'm scared that the same experience would happen. She kept telling me to make it clear that I don't want to have any hair cut. I stick by the fact that my own bad experiences with hairstylist trumps all. She injects being older into the coversation. I don't believe that being older makes you a better person. If that was the case, men wouldn't be flocking to younger women once they turn 40. I'll save that for another post.
I think what broke the straw on the camel's back was a comment about natural black hair made by one of my hallmates. I asked my other hallmate about a hairstyle. He said I would look better with loosely curled shoulder length hair and I was going to make the hair appointment after he said that. Then my other hallmate said I should wear my natural hair texture. She brought it up before in fall last year. It was nice that she encouraged me to grow my hair out to its natural state, but I did not like that she said "black women do not look right with straight hair and that it looks fake and unnatural". At the time I dismissed it because the people in this city does not like ambiguity. Since then, I took my braids out, worked with my hair the best way I could and I kept wearing a hairscarf. I would say I was partially ashamed of my hair that semester. I flatironed my hair and bunned it until it got so long I couldn't handle it. I have the kind of hair that holds heat very well. It's pretty durable for it to be type four hair texture. I think what also broke the straw on the camel's back was when my ex and I went to a really nice event and we didn't look as presentable. That night, I decided to cut all my permed hair off.
I thought at first no one would like my hair, now I realized that people would like to see women more natural instead of the narrow mainstream definition of beauty.
If I could do anything different I'd do the following:
1. Grow out of my perm when I was 18 despite objections from everyone I knew. It was easier to do this when I officially moved out. I more choices, because it's my hair. I don't see myself allowing anyone to do my hair anymore. I rather learn to do my own.
2. Wear wigs while my hair is still growing and continuously wear braids. It's not too late to do these things. I love the versatility of wigs and I can have any kind of hair I want. If I want straight, ice blonde hair I can with a wig. If I want jet black wavy curly hair, I can have that too. With Youtube, I can even learn how to braid my own hair. It took five hours to do my twists, partly because I want to put the product on every strand of hair. It's going to take longer to put braids in my hair.
3. Take care of my scalp while it was in braids. I could have washed my hair with shampoo made specifically for dandruff and problematic scalp and used hair oil to moisturize it. I could have even cowashed my hair every day and wash and deep condition on the weekends. Now I know better if I want to have longer hair the natural way.
4. Wait another year to do the big chop. Long transition would have made it easier to accept that I have this type of hair. It's difficult going from having straight long hair most of my life to having kinky short hair.I think another year, or when I graduate from college would have worked. I think if I continue to take care of my hair I would have armpit length hair by the time I graduate from college.
No comments:
Post a Comment